Thursday evening, I got the call that my Grandmother passed away. It wasn't unexpected as she's been slowly getting worse with her Alzheimer's and had been recommended to Hospice. But I never really thought about the travel until I had to make the choice of going or staying.
I spent Thursday evening and all of Friday driving myself crazy going back and forth with my decision making. I'd start getting our clothes ready to be packed and then tell myself I was nuts for even considering going. I have a 2 month old and a 2 year old to think about. But, I really wanted to be there for my Mom.
My Mom called me Friday and told me that she loved her grandbabies too much to have them strapped in a car seat for that long. She told me I had to do what a good mother would do and stay home and take care of her children. (Thankfully, my sister and brother are able to be there for her and my Dad.)
Here in one of my Mother's darkest hours, she is still putting her kids first. I've never known her to be even the tiniest bit selfish. So the last thing I told her was...I'll do what you taught me. And I've been focusing on quality time with my kids ever since.
Today, Kaydi and I went on our first Mother/Daughter trip. I needed something to wear for her baptism coming up. I'd stand in the dressing room and say, "What do you think, Kaydi?" And she'd smile so sweet. (even though I looked ridiculous.) I had a good time with her. And she got ooohhed and aahhhed by every woman that passed her. And she'd flash her sweet smile at every one of them!
I'm hoping that someday my daughter will look upon me and think of me as I do of my Mom. And I hope I'll always remember to put them first, like my Mother does for me.
Next Saturday, I get to do something I've never done...I get to take my Mom to a movie by myself! We've always gone with my sisters in the past. I was touched when my Mom said, "How about just you and me this time?" I can't think of anything better!
I love you, Mom. And Grandma, rest in peace knowing you raised a great daughter!
So sorry about your loss. What a wonderful tribute to your mother and grandmother.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about your grandmother. I think you did the right thing. It sounds like it's exactly what your mom and grandmother would want. Be kind to yourself during this time.
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